I am not a very religious person but I still believe that there is a higher being. It is not very often that I get "spiritual" desires whenever I go to mass. Usually, I sit there because it is required. My mom would probably kill me if I miss Sunday mass.
When I was younger, I would go to Simbang Gabi so that I can see my "village crush". Kadiri, diba? And I finished those 9 mornings just so I can wish for my "village crush" and me to be together. I was very frustrated when it didn't come true. Little did I know that eventually my "village crush" and I would not mesh quite perfectly. Kaya pala hindi binigay ni God!
Now I am aiming again to complete the 9 mornings despite the lack of sleep. This time around, I won't be wishing for "lovelife" nor be wishing to see my "village crush" in church. I realized that this year, I would complete the 9 mornings to thank God for everything he has given me for 2009. The priest told us in the homily on the 1st morning that everything starts from desire. If we lose desire, we can always ask God to grant us the desire. For it is only in desire that we can continue to do what we have always wanted. I desire to finish the Simbang Gabi because this is my way of finally giving back what God has given me. May He forgive me for all the wrongdoings I have done for this year. And may He bring back my old trusting self because in the end I can only pray...
Dear God,
Grant me the desire to change.
Grant me the desire to still believe in the goodness of people.
Amen.
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